The broken dragon
by linnolinn
Summary: After Lucy dies on a mission Natsu slowly starts giving up on life. He blames himself for her death and shuts everyone out. Natsu's sadness gets the best of him and it forms him into a different person. But will Natsu really give up and could Lucy really have died that easily? Will she come back and what happens if she does? A m rated Fanfic. My first on this website! :)
1. Chapter 1: Sorrow

Hello! This is my first fanfiction here! A Nalu one. Natsu and Lucy from Fairy Tail.

Hope you enjoy it.

It had gone 3 months now. 3 months since Lucy died.

The dragon slayer barley talked anymore. He would walk into the guild, sit for a few hours on a bench before leaving. He didn't talk while he was there he just sat. His pink hair was even messier than usual and he had bags under his eyes. According to Happy he hadn't slept much and judging by his looks he probably hadn't eaten much either. The guild was worried for him. Of course they were all sad about her tragic death but it was like Natsu died the same day she did.

Happy had never seen Natsu like this. He used to be so positive. _Why is he acting like this?_ Happy thought. _We are all sad about Lucy, you're acting selfish._ It made Happy want to be mad at Natsu like Gajeel and Gray was. Yelling at him telling him to pull himself together but Natsu only ignored them. He would turn around and walk back home. So why would it make a difference if he would be the one yelling at Natsu? He had tried being comforting towards Natsu but so far Natsu would just give Happy a faint smile and pat him on the back. It made no difference what Happy said, but, Happy wanted to keep trying.

Erza approached Natsu. She put her hand on his back and started to pat him on the back, hard. It hurt, of course it did. It was Erza but Natsu didn't move. It was like he didn't feel it. Erza smiled.

''Want to go on an adventure?'' Erza said smiling brightly ''It could cheer you up.'' She sat down on the bench next to him, putting her sword on the table. Natsu sighed and turned as if to face her but instead turned his face to watch the sword.

''I'm okay. I'll pass.'' He said

''A big reward is-''

''I don't want to go Erza.'' He said a bit louder still not looking at her. Gray came up to the table and sat down in front of them.

''Hey stop acting like a child flame brain.'' Gray said looking irritated. Natsu stood up and started walking away.

''Hey! Where are you going, don't ignore me!'' Gray yelled after him. Natsu continued walking towards the door, ignoring Gray. Master Makarov suddenly stood in front of Natsu, using his powers to stop Natsu from leaving the guild.

''It know it's hard. You lost a best friend and she is not coming home and it hurts. I understand but you can't go on like this Natsu. You can't give up on life, on us, like this. You need to forget about Lucy. We are here for you. We are a guild. A family. We all cared for Lucy. So, let us help you. '' The master said.

''No you don't understand.''

''Huh?'' The guild said confused. They all stared at Natsu. What was he saying? Of course they understood!

''No you don't understand. You don't fucking get it! You have no fucking idea of how I feel!'' They all stood still in shock. Natsu started flaming up. He was furious.

''You're acting like an idiot! She was our team mate! We are all sad!'' Gray shouted. Juvia took hold of Gray's hand. He faced her and she gave him a look of support. He smiled and held her hand tightly.

''She was my best friend!'' Levy shouted at Natsu. Levy felt her cheek getting wet. Was she crying? She was. She hadn't even realized. She dried them off with her sleeve.

''She died in my arms. She scarified herself for, me! I hate myself for it. Every day I wake up and remember how she looked at me before closing her eyes for the last time. I _**made**_ her go to that dumb mission and it will always be my fault that she died!'' Makarov moved to let Natsu pass and he did. He walked out of the guild. Without looking back he went home.

He unlocked the door and slammed it open. He closed it and fell to the ground. How pathetic he thought he was. _What has happened to me? I just want her back. I want her sent near me. I want her close. I need her. Lucy. You can't leave like this. _He cursed. Behind him the door opened. He didn't move. It was probably Happy. He didn't care anyways. Then he heard a familiar voice. It was soft and gentle.

''N-Natsu?''


	2. Chapter 2: Lucy's smell

Natsu quickly sat up. It was Lisanna. She wore a long white dress and a soft pink cardigan. She looked worried or maybe even scared. Her hands were on her chest, her fingers intertwined with each other. She stood there staring at Natsu as if she had just found him dead. Natsu had to break the silence.

''What are you doing here?'' Natsu asked as he stood up.

''I-I-'' Lisanna started, but suddenly it felt hard to talk.

''You were worried about me right?'' Natsu said while scratching the back of his head.

''Yes… Was it that obvious?''

''Well yeah but, it's just that I've been hearing that a lot lately.'' He said. He laughed a little but Lisanna didn't look amused.

''Natsu.''

''That's me.''

''You are acting like a child.'' She said suddenly. Natsu felt startled. This was not like Lisanna.

''Remember when we were kids?'' Lisanna asked. Natsu felt nostalgic and smirked.

''How could I forget.'' He said and Lisanna smiled. She took his hand and looked deep into his eyes. It made him a bit uncomfortable but he stared back.

''You didn't act this way when I died did you?''

''No. I mean, I was sad. Of course I was Lisanna. I just, I didn't feel guilty like I do know. I guess.'' He let go of her hand and took a deep breath. _Was this what she wanted? To know who he cared for more? Ugh._

''No Natsu that's not what I meant.''

''Huh?'' _What? What did she mean then? Why is she even here? Females are so confusing._

''I mean, you are acting like this now because Lucy is more than your team mate is she not?''

''Wh-'' Natsu started but Lisanna didn't let him finish. She had to talk now. She thought she could help him and he was not going to stop her.

''It does not matter. You need her in your life. So go to her grave. You have never visited it. You didn't even come to her funeral. Just visit once. It might help you.'' She said smiling. It was a clue. He must go. He does not realize but when he comes there he will. She turned around and left. Natsu was clueless. No he did not want to visit her grave! What was she thinking? Has she gone mad? Lucy was dead and her body was underground. Why would he want to visit her dead body? The place where they put her to rot. No he didn't want to, the thought made him feel gross. He closed the door and went to rest on his couch. He sighed.

…

''Natsu!'' Happy shouted and woke Natsu from his nap. He ran his fingers through his pink hair and yawned.

'' I brought fish!'' Happy shouted just like he usually does when he has fish. Happy really loves fish. If fish was a person he would get married to it. Happy landed on the couch next to Natsu holding the raw fish in front of him as if to tease him. Natsu laughed and pretended that he actually wanted the fish, trying to grab it with his mouth.

''Awww.. But I like fish so much! Can't I just have a taste?'' Happy pointed his tongue at Natsu and took a bite of the fish. Natsu suddenly remembered what Lisanna said.

''_It does not matter. You need her in your life. So go to her grave. You have never visited it. You didn't even come to her funeral. Just visit once. It might help you.''_ _Visit huh? Sounds stupid. _

''What are you thinking about?'' Happy asked while eating his fish. Natsu could barely hear him through all the chewing.

''Something Lisanna said. She told me I should visit Lucy's grave and that it would _help_ me. Tch.''

''Eh? Sounds like a good idea! You should.''

''_A GOOD IDEA?''_

''Yup!'' Natsu looked at Happy like he had lost all common sense. ''I don't know it could help.'' _It could help me… It's dumb, but, maybe I should give it a try. For Happy. _Natsu stood up and scratched his ass. He could almost hear Lucy yelling at him in his mind and it made him smile. Weirdly enough.

''Well I'm gonna try it out. Should I, um, dress up or something?''

''Nah, just go.'' Happy said chewing his fish. Happy didn't have time for fashion. He was eating his delicious fish.

''Okay well I'm off.'' Natsu said. He put on his sandals and left. The weather was really gloomy today. The sky was covered in dark clouds and it looked as if it was about to rain anytime now. _Maybe I should bring an umbrella or something? Nah. _He walked slowly. He didn't want to get to the graveyard. Something in him told him he had to, so he kept walking. He stopped by a store and bought a bouquet. It was a big one with pink roses. Pink and blue were her favorite colors. _I might as well come with some flowers. _He thought. He only looked forward to one thing and that was her smell. Even in death and if someone is underground rotting, dragons can still smell them. The smell they had when they were alive that is. It stays the same to dragons and Natsu had the same ability. He had always loved Lucy's smell. It was unique. He knew that the minute he smelled her he would break into tears but that didn't stop him. He kept walking. Now he saw a sign. It said **Magnolia cemetery. **He took a deep breath and walked in. Graves. Graves everywhere. He kept walking. Now he saw it. Her grave. He wanted to scream. Instead he held the flowers in a hard grip. He stopped to look at it. **Lucy Heartfilia. **He wanted to puke. Rain started pouring now. _How convenient _he thought. He closed his eyes. Then he sniffed. Many different smells, but not hers. It could not be his nose. It would always find Lucy's smell no matter what. So he kept sniffing. Nothing. He opened his eyes.

''What the hell?'' He said. _She is not there. __**She is not, there. **_He dropped the bouquet. Was she,

_Alive?_


End file.
